I have an anomaly I would appreciate feedback on. I have noticed a pattern in my life. As I get older and more sedentary I try to muster up the enthusiasm to work out  and get back in to good physical shape that I had during my youth; I am middle age now. The pattern I keep seeing is this: When I finally get motivated and go work out on a consistent basis and push myself a little, I start to notice a slight improvement in my shape and feel of my body. When I get serious about it, I can see instant results. The problem I have is that as soon as I see and feel ANY results, I get a sore throat and feel run down and get very sick with a respiratory infection of some kind. I can be sick in bed for a week or two with a hacking cough for months afterwards. This stops all of the progress I had accumulated (which was only a small beginning). I am sick as I write this. This scenario keeps playing out in my life over and over and over and I can’t get back in shape. If I don’t exercise outside of my somewhat physical job, I don’t get the “crud”. I can be exposed to very sick people and my own family coughing and hacking on me and I don’t get sick. It is only when I work out and push myself to get in shape that I get the “crud”. What is happening? Should I go to a nutritionist? My doctors have no advice, and I don’t feel like they listen to me. Does anyone else ever notice this health phenomenon or is it just me? It seems to pop up like when one gets a fever blister on their lips when they get a fever or a cut on the lips. Could it be some kind of unknown viral thing that blooms when I get my body hot and sweaty? I don’t think I start working out that hard. I have the will power to get in shape but am very frustrated that I always get the “crud” when I try. The “crud” stops me. I have a job to keep with a very strict attendance policy and I can’t be off sick. I will be traveling to southern California this summer and would like to swim with the dolphins and fit into one of those wet suits and swim in the ocean without looking and feeling like a blob. When I was more youthful, working out keeps my appetite at bay and I have a desire to eat right. Any suggestions out there? Please no rude comments.

Too many lessons learned makes for a dull boy….

 They say it is ok to make mistakes if you learn from them and see them as a life lesson. Oh, I have made plenty of mistakes and I have learned from most of these lessons. I  know these lessons all too well having suffered the consequences from my mistakes. When I was just starting out on my own in my youth I had my strong opinions and ideas about how life should be and was going to be for me. Now that I am on the mature end of middle age and have children that are making opinions for themselves and one that is just starting to leave the nest, I find myself giving them advice that goes in one ear and out the other. I continue to give this advice hoping at some point it will be welcomed. The thing is I learned the hard way so much that I can’t bear to see my children make these mistakes and try my best to steer them in a direction that they can avoid this pain. It is actually painful for me to watch. I guess this is itself a lesson on letting go. I really do try hard at doing this. This morning my 19 year old daughter left for her new job as a barista at a drive through at 8 minutes till the hour she was supposed to be there. This is her two week learning period (like a probation period) before her barista test, a test to prove her skills and the employers time period to evaluate her performance. I have warned her every day and night to arrive 15 minutes early. This has fallen on deaf ears. I can’t stop myself though as I know this is a small town and there are not many jobs here and on top of that, she LOVES this job. I know how she will suffer if she loses it and I will also suffer the consequences directly and indirectly as I watch her fail 

In the past I have watched my own mother (and even a friend) try really hard to get jobs and then only keep them for a little while for some petty reason or another. I am pretty sure that if she had taken a true self evaluation she would have seen that the job was more than she could handle mentally or physically. I have also seen her try diet after diet. She will be so good at the diet in the beginning, lose a bunch of weight, gain a lot of compliments and then return to her previous weight before you know it. I found myself not wanting to compliment her on her weight loss until further into a diet because it seemed that the compliments preceded the failure of the diet. She has done this circus with jobs, diets and other ventures in her life. Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful relationship with my mom and I love the stuffing out of her, but observing her behavior has made me keenly aware of my own limitations.

Learning life lessons and being honest with myself and my limitations had made me into the person I am, stagnant and dull. I do not challenge myself very much anymore. I am not very adventurous or spontaneous because of maturity. I haven’t found much reward or success either way, young and dumb or old and knowledgeable.

So I proceed in life and continue to learn. It is my mission to figure a way to find a balance between learning the hard way and doing nothing because of it.

Midnight Snack by author Lynette Barrett


Midnight Snack.

Midnight snack I hear you calling

cookies, cake or chips for mauling.

The creaky step that is between us

and creaky door will tell on me,

You’re on my mind and will not leave,

I want to devour you until I heave.

The satisfaction of that pie,

or cornbread pudding in the fridge so high,

Surely others I will wake

if I give in to you chocolate cake.

Does not matter, I will not sleep

until my tongue tastes of your frosting so sweet.

I need my sleep but I know I will not

until I go to you my pastry with filling of apricot

Here I come, ready or not

as I spring for the door up off of my cot,

if you should  awaken upon my sneak

pull up a chair, grab a fork, grab a  spoon

we’ll start with the cheese as big as the moon

then together we’ll peak at the goodies galore

behind the bright halo of the silver fridge door.


Author: Lynette M. Barrett   May,23,2013